Fitzgerald: Revisited

Fitzgerald: Revisited

“He wanted not association with glittering things and glittering people — he wanted the glittering things themselves.” (Fitzgerald).

            Fame and fortune has been known to drastically change some people’s lives. From child stars who went from sweethearts to drug abusers and middle class people who became depressed after winning the lottery, people can flip one-eighty. This world-wide phenomenon can be seen in some of the world’s great writers such as Ernest Hemingway who ended up committing suicide. Francis Scott Key Fitzgerald was also affected by his sudden shove into the proverbial limelight. From his innocent and  introverted childhood, to his pursuit for love, to the beginning of his fame and troubles, all leading to the ending years of his life, we can see that fame had certainly gotten the best of F. Scott Fitzgerald in the end.

Fitzgerald’s early childhood was a normal one for the 1900’s. Two sisters, ages one and three, died of influenza right before F. Scott was born driving his mother to be overprotective of him. (Caudle). He grew up moving between Buffalo, New York and Syracuse, New York because of his father’s job. The Fitzgeralds lived a modest life though keeping work was hard for F. Scott’s father. At the age of twelve, the family moved to St. Paul to live off the inheritance that F. Scott’s deceased grandmother left for her daughter. With this money, his father and mother sent him to St. Paul Academy where he stayed for two years. This is when he was first published; it was in the school newspaper. At age fifteen, F. Scott was sent to the Newman School in New Jersey, a prestigious Catholic preparatory school. (Biography). He moved on to pursue his artistic abilities in writing at Princeton University. Soon enough, Fitzgerald’s regular coursework began to suffer, he was placed on academic probation, and dropped out of school to enlist in the army in 1917.

Making his way up to the command of a second lieutenant in the infantry and being stationed at Montgomery, Alabama changed the course of his life forever. (Willett). Afraid of dying in war, F. Scott wrote The Romantic Egotist. The publishers turned his book down, but encouraged him to revise it and try again. In July of 1918 at a country club dance in Montgomery, Fitzgerald met Zelda Sayre. It was love at first sight for Fitzgerald. Then on November 11^th World War I ends before Fitzgerald ever gets the chance to leave the U. S. This would become one of his greatest regrets from his life. Looking to eventually marry Zelda, Fitzgerald moves to New York and takes up the job in advertising.  Not being rich or famous enough for her, Zelda breaks off the courtship that they had and also breaks his heart. A biographer of Fitzgerald wrote, “Unwilling to wait while Fitzgerald succeeded in the advertisement business and unwilling to live on his small salary, Zelda Sayre broke their engagement.” (Bruccoli). Determined to be the man of her dreams, Fitzgerald quits his job and moves back to St. Paul to continue with his writing career. He returned to The Romantic Egotist revising it over and over again. This time when turned into the same publishers it was accepted; it was revised to be entitled This Side of Paradise. He wrote to the publisher pleading for an accelerated release. “‘I have so many things dependent on its success—including of course a girl.’” (Milford 54). Finding fame and fortune overnight from his new book, Fitzgerald went back to Zelda and they married a week later in New York in St. Patrick’s Cathedral. (Shmoop). Fitzgerald had everything in life he could want at this point: the woman of his dreams, money, and a home in the Commodore, the newest and best hotel.

Then the money started getting to their heads. They were kids with more money than they knew what to do with. “They filled their first weeks with antics, and the newspapers filled their pages with the Fitzgeralds. Scott undressed at George White’s Scandals, Zelda dived fully dressed in the Washington Square fountain. The media watched as the Fitzgeralds lived life on the wind.” (Cline 87). They got kicked out of two hotels, one being the Commodore, for their drunkenness. Their whole social life was driven with alcoholic drinks. In public this meant falling asleep in a drunken state at parties, but in their personal lives arguments broke out and bitter fights were waged. (Bruccoli). Even though their lives seemed to be a huge party, they were still just young kids in love. They had a daughter, Frances Scott (Scottie), born in 1921. When Scottie was three, the family moved to France so F. Scott could work on his book The Great Gatsby. (Greatest). “Among their closest expatriate friends were Gerald and Sara Murphy, whose daughter Honoria … remembers the Fitzgeralds as ‘a very romantic unit. What stays with me is the way Scott looked at her with this totally admiring look on his face. And she did look ravishing. She always wore a peony on her left shoulder.’” (Greatest). This is how they lived there life until 1930.

In 1930 Zelda had her first mental breakdown. F. Scott always attributed it to Zelda’s zealous ballet practices. She would habitually practice ten hours a day starting in 1927. After her breakdown, Zelda was admitted into then Malmaison Clinic outside Paris. She eventually was diagnosed as a schizophrenic and told by her doctors to stop dancing. (Americans). Having Zelda so far from F. Scott strained their relationship and they became estranged from one another. He was forced to stop the work on his book and start working for Hollywood as a screenwriter to pay all of the hospital bills. In Hollywood, F. Scott took up an affair with Sheilah Graham, a gossip columnist. In the meanwhile, Zelda was moving to different mental hospitals up and down the East coast of the United States. F. Scott’s and Graham’s affair lasted less than three years, ending only at the end of his life at age forty. Sheilah Graham was with F. Scott when he had a heart attack and died. Though his last moments were with Graham, people still remember his heart always belonging to and being with his wife, Zelda. (Greatest). A letter written to Zelda by the hand of F. Scott states that he knows the happy ever after isn't there anymore but he gives the sense that he wishes things would have turned out differently and that he still thinks of her often. It was written the same year F. Scott died. “‘It’s odd that my old talent for the short story vanished. It was partly that times changed, editors changed, but part of it was tied up somehow with you and me—the happy ending…’” (Steinkellner). Zelda and F. Scott’s daughter recalls that even in the last days of Zelda’s life that Zelda still wrote beautiful letters about him. “‘The tenderness is the point. That survived everything.’” (Greatest).

F. Scott’s Fitzgerald’s life was changed by the fame and fortune that his writing career and book publications brought him. Much like other celebrities from today’s time, F. Scott Fitzgerald took a turn for the worst in the middle of his walk in the limelight. In Fitzgerald’s quiet childhood he was the only kid of his parents; his courtship to Zelda was serious and passionate. Then his life became one big party after fame struck, changing drastically from the life he lived before. All this lead to the estrangement from his wife and an early death. His fame had taken over his life. But does anyone really get out of this world without being tainted by the bright lights and the want for their name immortalized anyway? Will you?

Works Cited

Biography. A+E Television Networks. Web. 24 Apr. 2013.

Bruccoli, Matthew Joseph. Some Sort of Epic Grandeur: The Life of F. Scott Fitzgerald.

            2^nd ed. Columbia: University of South Carolina Press, 2002. Print.

Caudle, Barb. Comcast.net. 8 June 2010. Web. 24 Apr. 2013.

Cline, Sally. Zelda Fitzgerald: Her Voice in Paradise. New York: Arcade, 2004. Print.

Croasdaile, Caroline. Americans in Paris. University of Richmond, 12 Nov. 2010. Web.

            26 Apr. 2013.

Fitzgerald, F. Scott. “Winter Dreams.” Metropolitan Magazine. Dec. 1922. Print.

“The Greatest Love Stories of the Century.” People 12 Feb.1996: 163. Print.

Milford, Nancy. Zelda: A Biography. New York: Harper & Row, 1970. Print.

Shmoop.com. Shmoop University, Inc., n.d.. Web. 25 Apr. 2013.

Steinkellner, Kit. Bookriot.com. Book Riot, 18 Feb. 2013. Web. 26 Apr. 2013.

Willett, Erika. Pbs.org. KQED Inc.. n.d.. Web. 24 Apr. 2013.

'Glory' to His Name

'Glory' to His Name

            I heard the deep rumbling of voices in the distance as I was putting the animals away one night. As the sound neared, I could understand their synchronized words to be a gospel song, much like ones I’ve heard being sung in my papa’s southern fields.

            As I stood by the fence thinking, I noticed that the singing grew no closer. Smoke started to rise down the road. Curious, I walked until the edge of a clearing. Peeking through some bushes I saw dozens of black men gathered around a campfire singing praises unto their Lord. The man talking spoke so quietly I had to strain to make out his words.

“I ain’t never had no family, and…killed off my momma…”

After a pause, encouragement words to keep sharing were uttered.

“Well I just…”

It took the man another couple seconds to speak, emotion in his voice.

“Y’all’s the only-est family I got…. And, oh I love the 54^th. Ain’t even much a matter what happens tomorrow, ‘cause we men, ain’t we? ..… We’re men.”

Feelings stirred within me. This was the 54^th Black Regiment?! But, didn’t I just hear the most humanistic words come out of these men’s mouths.

As the group of men started in for another praising chorus, I turned and slowly headed back to the house, contemplating.

The next morning I woke, looked out of my window, and saw the same men from last night dressed in blue uniforms. They were strong, but also a bit solemn.

A few weeks later I learned most of those men had died in a battle against Fort Wagner not long after the night I had seen them singing in the woods. While my pa cheered, somewhere in my heart, a part ached. For what reason, I’m not sure. Was it their bravery for fighting? Was it the trust and love they held for each other, much like what a family has? Regardless, of what it was, my respect for the 54^th Regiment never lessened.

English Journal Writings

I had just left school when, from out of nowhere, Nick Jonas shows up. Nobody around me freaked out like I did. They just went on with their normal lives. Nick walked up and just started chatting away life we had been friends forever. Was I in heaven? No, last year, I had met Nick last year. I remember now! He led me to his car and opened the front passenger side door for me. We drove off into the sunset. I could not have been happier. Then we drove off a cliff.

English Journal Writings

Ch. 1
     It was Saturday afternoon and I had just gotten done with yoga, when from out of the sky, a pencil dropped.

Ch. 2
     Steve had been happy in life. Had enough competition from others to grow strong, but not too many so he couldn't thrive. Then one day, a man came by with an ax and started swinging at Steve. Steve fell down, defeated by the man in plaid.

Ch. 3
     I picked up the fallen object questions swimming in my mind. Where did it come from? Why did it come? What's for lunch? Needing to have some clarity in my life, I decided to find out. I pulled out my phone and texted my mum. She answered my question with pizza rolls.

Ch. 4
     Steve's life had been long; a good number of years for a typical tree.

God's Love For Us

Free things = the best!!! You know like, how Free candy is awesome. And Free e-books, yup, I love ‘em. So when I found out that Forget Me Not by Elder Uchtdorf was free on the kindle I was ecstatic.

And that is what I’ve decided to talk to you brethren and sister....en about today

Uchtdorf starts with an introduction so I suppose I’ll start there"
“A while ago I was walking through a beautiful garden with my wife and daughter. I marveled at the glory and beauty of God’s creation. And then I noticed, among all the glorious blooms, the tiniest flower. I knew the name of this flower because since I was a child I have had a tender connection to it. The flower is called forget-me-not.
"I’m not exactly sure why this tiny flower has meant so much to me over the years. It does not attract immediate attention; it is easy to overlook among larger and more vibrant flowers; yet it is just as beautiful, with its rich color that mirrors that of the bluest skies—perhaps this is one reason why I like it so much.
"And there is the haunting plea of its name. There is a German legend that just as God had finished naming all the plants, one was left unnamed. A tiny voice spoke out, “Forget me not, O Lord!” And God replied that this would be its name.
I would like to use this little flower as a metaphor. The five petals of the little forget-me-not flower prompt me to consider five things we would be wise never to forget."

“I want to tell you something that I hope you will take in the right way: God is fully aware that you and I are not perfect.
Let me add: God is also fully aware that the people you think are perfect are not.
And yet we spend so much time and energy comparing ourselves to others—usually comparing our weaknesses to their strengths. This drives us to create expectations for ourselves that are impossible to meet. As a result, we never celebrate our good efforts because they seem to be less than what someone else does.
Everyone has strengths and weaknesses.
It’s wonderful that you have strengths.
And it is part of your mortal experience that you do have weaknesses.”

And with that being said, I want to talk about the fifth petal in Uchtdorf’s book.

Fifth, forget not that the Lord loves you.

Uchtdorf starts off this section by saying
“As a child, when I would look at the little forget-me-nots, I sometimes felt a little like that flower—small and insignificant. I wondered if I would be forgotten by my family or by my Heavenly Father.
Years later I can look back on that young boy with tenderness and compassion. And I do know now—I was never forgotten.
And I know something else: as an Apostle of our Master, Jesus Christ, I proclaim with all the certainty and conviction of my heart—neither are you!
You are not forgotten.
No matter how dark your days may seem, no matter how insignificant you may feel, no matter how overshadowed you think you may be, your Heavenly Father has not forgotten you. In fact, He loves you with an infinite love.
Just think of it: You are known and remembered by the most majestic, powerful, and glorious Being in the universe! You are loved by the King of infinite space and everlasting time!
He who created and knows the stars knows you and your name—you are the [sons and] daughters of His kingdom. The Psalmist wrote:
“When I consider thy heavens, the work of thy fingers, the moon and the stars, which thou hast ordained;
“What is man, that thou art mindful of him? …
“For thou hast made him a little lower than the angels, and hast crowned him with glory and honour.”5
God loves you because you are His child. He loves you even though at times you may feel lonely or make mistakes.
The love of God and the power of the restored gospel are redemptive and saving. If you will only allow His divine love into your life, it can dress any wound, heal any hurt, and soften any sorrow.”

This principle is prevalent in my own life. I took AP Stats last year.. oh myyyy…. So there was this one day that we were taking another test. I think it was the final or something, but it was insanely hard. Like I had NO idea. What is this?? So I’m sitting there flippin’ out. No guys, I was seriously flippin’ out in my head. But then… I’m not even sure what happened. I stopped, calmed down and a thought just came to my mind “Even if you fail this, God still loves you.” Even if I fail. God still loves me. I sat there, and I, I almost started crying . (I hate it when people see me cry) And worse, I was afraid people would think I was crying because the test was so hard. No, I don’t do that.
6 months later I told my baby cousin this story and told her that even if they didn’t make the sports team, God would always love her. 

And even if I do bad on this talk, God will still love me.
Turns out I passed the class and my cousin made the team, and looks like there's not many sleeping, but I will never forget that calming and reassurance that I was loved.

There is a series of books by an author named Max Lucado about little wooden people called the Wemmicks carved by a woodworker named Eli; some of you may know these stories. In his book “You Are Special”, the Wemmicks are going through this phase of judging one another. They go around town with a box full of golden star stickers and gray dot stickers. They put golden stickers on all the pretty Wemmicks or those who had many great talents, and they put gray dots on the ones who had rough wood or whose paint had chipped, or those whose talents were not as amazing. One little Wemmick who was given dots all day started to feel like he was not a good Wemmick; His name was Punchinello. He then met a girl who had no stars or dots on herself. She replied that she goes every day to visit Eli the woodcarver. The next morning Punchinello went to Eli’s shop.

Punchinello swallowed hard. "I'm not staying here!" and he turned to leave. Then he heard his name."Punchinello?" The voice was deep and strong. Punchinello stopped. "Punchinello! How good to see you. Come and let me have a look at you." Punchinello turned slowly and looked at the large bearded craftsman. "You know my name?" the little Wemmick asked.
"Of course I do. I made you." Eli stooped down and picked him up and set him on the bench. "Hmm," the maker spoke thoughtfully as he inspected the gray circles. "Looks like you've been given some bad marks." "I didn't mean to, Eli. I really tried hard." "Oh, you don't have to defend yourself to me, child. I don't care what the other Wemmicks think." "You don't?"
No, and you shouldn't either. Who are they to give stars or dots?
They're Wemmicks just like you. What they think doesn't matter, Punchinello. All that matters is what I think. And I think you are pretty special."
Punchinello laughed. "Me, special? Why? I can't walk fast. I can't jump. My paint is peeling. Why do I matter to you?"
Eli looked at Punchinello, put his hands on those small wooden shoulders, and spoke very slowly. "Because you're mine. That's why you matter to me."
Punchinello had never had anyone look at him like this--much less his maker. He didn't know what to say.
"Every day I've been hoping you'd come," Eli explained.
"I came because I met someone who had no marks."
"I know. She told me about you."
"Why don't the stickers stay on her?"
"Because she has decided that what I think is more important than what they think. The stickers only stick if you let them."
"What?"
"The stickers only stick if they matter to you. The more you trust my love, the less you care about the stickers."
"I'm not sure I understand."
"You will, but it will take time. You've got a lot of marks. For now, just come to see me every day and let me remind you how much I care." Eli lifted Punchinello off the bench and set him on the ground. "Remember," Eli said as the Wemmick walked out the door. "You are special because I made you. And I don't make mistakes."
Punchinello didn't stop, but in his heart he thought, "I think he really means it."
And when he did, a dot fell to the ground. 

We must remember that God’s judgment is more important than judgment we get from people on this earth. Sometimes that might be hard but we have to know within ourselves that God is the only one who gives out righteous judgment all the time. He loves us. He gave His only Begotten Son that we may return to Him again, so don’t you ever feel as though he doesn’t love you at times because of something that’s happened. God loves each of you. You are special to Him, God doesn't love you because you are special person or do everything right.
He loves you because He is love.
This is my testimony of God’s love for us and I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.

Persuasive Paper

    Not A Forceable Paper

   "If he really hurt you, you wouldn't love him." "You must have wanted it." Short quotes such as these can be found on a tumblr page named Project Unbreakable. It depicts pictures of sexual abuse victims wish signs sharing traumatic parts of their stories that haunt them. More often than one might think, their signs have quotes from their trusted friends, family, and religious leaders, just pushing the matter aside. Well I believe every person has the right to receive correct and proper help for sexual abuse, because of how damaging it can be and the efforts so far just aren't enough.
     The effects of this abuse are numerous. Obviously there's physical consequences  The victim could contract deadly STD's from their assulter. There's also injuries that could come from the actual attack. Although most people know the physical, a lot of deep emotional baggage and pain that comes with acts of sexual abuse. Blocking it out of their minds is a common response, especially in children. Also depression, sleep disorders, and low self-esteem are common outward expressing signs is self-injury and revictimization. Without treatment, these can lead to suicide.
     According to the Monterey Country Rape Crisis Center (MCRCC), around only 16% of sexual assaults are reported. Since more than a third of rape victims get Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, it makes the chances of reaching out to those in need of help smaller, in accordance with the 16%. MCRCC gave the statistic that worldwide, at least one in three women and one in six men have been beaten, coarced into sex, or otherwise abused in their lifetime. That affects more people than any type of cancer. Seeing as there's so much attention put into cancer awareness, don't you think there should be equal, if not more, attention put onto supporting these victims?
     "He's a boy and boys are experimental. Now kiss and make up." People need to become more aware of what rape is, how it effects people, and stop pushing the matter aside. Help centers should be made available to anyone who has been victimized.

The Chaplain and The Crazy

The Chaplain and The Crazy

            The first two sentences of Catch-22 make the strangest first impression on the readers. “It was love at first sight. The first time Yossarian saw the chaplain he fell madly in love with him” (Heller, Catch-22 7). Coincidentally, these two characters are one of the most different pairs in the whole book. Both Yossarian and the chaplain present distinct purposes to the story line, and although Man vs. Society is their common conflict, the details are polar opposites.

Yossarian is the protagonist in this book by Joseph Heller. In this third-person-omniscient point of view, he is the main focus. As described by nearly everyone in the book, Yossarian is absolutely insane; he has few friends and can’t even get a girl to marry him because she states him as crazy. Yossarian is made out to be narcissistic and somewhat lazy. He provides an interesting standpoint on the war and the characters in his group since his mental state is abnormal. Heller uses Yossarian’s viewpoint to differentiate the common analysis of his leaders and squadron members and what he sees in them.

Albert T. Tappman, whose real name we find out in Heller’s sequel called Closing Time, is one of the most decent characters in the book (Heller, Closing Time 24). He is the group chaplain for the squadron and is there to help the men who are in the war with spiritual and physical needs. The chaplain loves his family dearly and is very thoughtful; although, he comes off as a very timid and ineffectual fool. He provides the book with a basis of sanity when everyone else has completely lost their metaphorical marbles.

Yossarian’s and the chaplain’s part of the story is extremely contrasting because Yossarian is in the story to be loud, insane, and self-preserving while Tappman shows a different side of gentleness, voice of reason, and generosity. The chaplain is a family man while Yossarian has no problem sleeping with any attractive woman that comes his way. Their difference in purpose continues all the way through the whole book. At the end when attitudes begin to change, Yossarian and the chaplain take a jump to their reverse standings. Tappman decides to become a bold and assertive force for justice and is capable of getting the attention of others when he puts himself out there. Yossarian, on the other hand, goes against what he’s been all along and chooses not to only think about himself, but to also say no to officials so that he could preserve the safety of the whole squadron. The end also proves to be a diversity, because Yossarian ended up running away from the problem he had been trying to face and the chaplain learns to stand up for himself.

The conflict of Man vs. Society is what Yossarian and Tappman face in this story, just in different ways.  Yossarian is having problems with being in the war, but the country makes men fight. Basically the only thing he wants is to stay alive, and he can’t do that very well if he’s forced to go on dangerous combat missions all the time. “[Yossarian] had decided to live forever or die in the attempt” (Heller, Catch-22 29). Even if he admits himself into the hospital, he knows he still won’t be able to go home until the forever rising number of missions is completed. His main conflict is with Colonel Cathcart: the one who keeps raising the number of missions.

The chaplain, on the other hand, is facing society as in the squadron. He is so shy that nobody respects him. Most of the guys that he has to be around take him for granted. Tappman sleeps in the woods, four miles from the base, because he won’t stand up to Colonel Korn. He has been embarrassed by Colonel Cathcart, Colonel Korn, and Corporal Whitcomb; although, the chaplain later is befriended by Yossarian and his friends (which is why Tappman takes the deaths of Yossarian’s friends so hard) (Heller, Catch-22 377).

Heller showed that Man vs. Society could be more subtle than loud rebellions or strict dictatorship. Using the same conflict gave them a sense of unity, but also made it easier to spot the differences. The things the characters put in to the story plot contributed to the whole meaning and the interesting variety of ideas. Maybe this is why the chaplain and Yossarian became such good friends; it’s because they balanced each other out. “‘If you will look about you (which most people won’t do),’ says Sergeant Cuff, ‘you will see that the nature of a man’s tastes is, most times, as opposite as possible to the nature of a man’s buisness’” (Collins 74).

Collins, Wilkie. The Moonstone. Tinsely Brothers, 1868. Print.

Heller, Joseph. Catch-22. New York City: Simon & Schuster, 1955. Print.

Heller, Joseph. Closing Time. Simon & Schuster, 1994. Print.